Car naps are a necessary luxury.
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Oh, practice is going to end 30 minutes late? Well, considering you're always exhausted, maybe you can try to sneak in a quick catnap in the driver's seat.
The car's also a great place for dance parties.
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Is it your turn to be a driver on game day? Better get up-to-date on the music scene.
Those five kids in the back seat need to get pumped, and your go-to radio station might not be such a crowd-pleaser with these critics. So, pick something new and high-energy, crank it up and let the pre-game dance party begin!
It costs how much?!
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Whether it's league fees, cleats, uniforms or any other type of equipment, the costs that come along with youth sports really pile up. At least it's a good lesson in money management, right?
A great cooler's worth its weight in gold.
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You know those cheap foam coolers from the gas station? They may work on occasion, but when you've got dozens of juice boxes and water bottles that must be served at their optimal temperature to achieve post-game refreshment, only the Cadillac of coolers will do!
Practice was "OK..."
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It's great to facilitate conversation with your child. Definitely ask how today's practice went, but don't expect a detailed answer every time. They're tired, they're sore and maybe they made a couple of mistakes. Whatever the reason, if the kids aren't in the mood to talk, don't take it personally. Sometimes "OK" is as good as it gets.
Parents are so totally embarrassing.
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No, you're not allowed to show up early and stand on the sideline while you wait for practice to end. You're also not allowed to cheer too loud during the game. And don't even think about taking videos for social media. Basically, you're not allowed to do anything, because you're so totally embarrassing!
What is that smell?!
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There is, and you fear there always will be, sweaty-clothing stench in your car, in your child's room, in the living room and pretty much everywhere else in your world.
Mismatched socks are inevitable.
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And speaking of laundry, watch out for those imaginary sock thieves (they're definitely real). You have long since forgiven yourself for sending your children to practice in pairs that don't match.
Vacations? Ha!
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Gone are the days of spending a week on the beach with a margarita in hand. These days, your vacations are spent driving to Anywhere, USA, then watching your child play whatever sport is in season.
You can never have enough sunscreen or water.
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Many sports require kids to be outside in the scorching sun, so you're always sure to bring enough sunscreen and water bottles for an army. The odd glances as you pull out your two-gallon pump-top jug of SPF 50 have long since ceased to bother you. Hey–you're sitting in the sun, too, so you have to have plenty to go around.
"NO PLAYING IN THE HOUSE!"
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If only you had a dollar for every time you barked this phrase at your kids, then you'd have enough money to afford all that expensive gear! To be safe, you probably shouldn't let them play with balls, bats or rackets anywhere close to the house, either.
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